such an easy empty thing to say ‘i love you’

fuck off. 

you dont know yourself and you definitely dont know me. how could you? i’ve held you in this space that exists between delusional and comfortable. neither one is admirable. and one of the two does not a relationship make. and the two twogether are pathetic at best, tragic and woeful at worst. 

that just may be us. 

suspended like sun and star in my every thought you once were. in fact, just this morning that would be an accurate way to discuss your position in my galaxy. but tonight, posthumous love is not so forgiving. i have worked arduously to keep these crocodiles at bay and now they bleed from me with unrelenting gothic tumult. my ruddy face swollen with i told me so’s and my pores like bucket toting children in the rain catching watery regrets. rain is recycled. the same water that doused dinosaurs soaks my pillow case and the footprints left behind are triceratop-sized.  endangered: your power and pull here. extinct:my vulnerability to you after today.

i miss you already. i turn to you like a sunflower in the afternoon rays. without any control of my molecules, i bend toward your warmth and am satisfied and opened up reluctantly and happily. distraction perhaps. love of my life perhaps. neither perhaps.